Why is it hard to make friends with computer nerds? Add Comments Comment and share this joke on Facebook or Twitter. The longer you've been working with computers, the more you'll enjoy this. A computer engineer, a systems analyst, and a programmer were driving down a mountain when the brakes gave out. Why is it hard to make friends with computer nerds? A wife asks her husband, who is a software engineer: “Could you please go shopping for me and buy 1 carton of milk. A RAM. So I’ve been searching for some of the best computer nerd jokes I can find and today I offer you 21 of the best. What is a computer’s favorite animal? Share these funny nerd jokes on social media, Three logicians walk into a bar. Absolutely hillarious IT one-liners! I dedicate these nerd jokes to all the nerds out there. 1. The Roman replies, “If I wanted a double, I would have asked for one.”. 21 Jokes Only Nerds Will Understand. Why did Karl Marx dislike Earl Grey tea? Bartender replies: “For you, no charge”. You can always see different groups of people gathered in the schoolyard. For … The second asks for half a beer. Stupid jokes can turn a frown upside down. << See All of our Jokes Categories Here! Posted by 9 years ago. Enjoy *Think you’re funnier; then submit your own jokes for inclusion in the app and get the credit too. You won’t need blue light glasses for these computer jokes and IT jokes. Are you a computer whiz? Oct 24, 2018 - Explore Janine Lucas's board "Nerd Humor", followed by 116 people on Pinterest. it seems you know how to turn my software to hardware. 80 Jokes for Computer Nerds and the Rest of Us My computer jokes are grouped into 12, yes 12, sections on this page. Are you a computer whiz? We are adding a one-click tweet button with every one-liner for you to be able to quickly share them on Twitter. Enjoy our collection of funny, geeky, tech, programmer and computer jokes below and make sure to share them with friends and family. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, ’Take what you want!’” The second nerd nodded approvingly and said, “Good choice. A horrible date can turn into a treasured memory. They just change the standard to darkness. Get it because it's faster than the guy who's running to pee. Check out some awesome accounting jokes or funny math jokes. How does a computer get drunk? Here are some great nerd jokes about computer nerds, plus dirty jokes and a lot of other funny nerdy shit. A computer engineer, a systems analyst, and a programmer were driving down a mountain when the brakes gave out. ). Enjoy our collection of funny, geeky, tech, programmer and computer jokes below and make sure to share them with friends and family. They always make me smile. A: They get too distracted chasing the mouse around. … Meet funny computer Rednecks and disgruntled computers. Also check out our other funny jokes categories. You’ve found one Newton per square meter. So, I have a story about a wise old computing nerd and his new technological apprentice. The first asks for a beer. As he approaches the bar, he sees a big sign on the door that says, "COMPUTER NERDS NOT ALLOWED - ENTER AT … They all got … Baby you're so cute you made my page 404. We are adding a one-click tweet button with every one-liner for you to be able to quickly share them on Twitter. An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. There are too many jokes! Do you know the name Pavlov? Sure, some jokes do come with their fair share of cringe. If you can’t helium, and you can’t curium, you’ll probably have to barium. The largest collection of IT one-line jokes in the world. All sorted from the best by our visitors. They screamed down the mountain, gaining speed, and finally managed to grind to a halt, more by luck than anything else, just inches from a thousand-foot drop to jagged rocks. What's your favorite nerdy joke? Absolutely hillarious IT one-liners! The bartender says “Sorry, we don’t serve noble gases here.” The helium doesn’t react. Everyone’s a nerd inside. So I’ve been searching for some of the best computer nerd jokes I can find and today I offer you 21 of the best. It’s virtually impossible to confirm their origins or their authors, but should anyone be able to advise then please do let me know. 30 Best Funny Movie Quotes 63 Really Funny Star Wars Jokes 77 Best Funny Love Quotes 20 Really Funny Grammar Jokes 120 Best Funny Pick Up Lines 25 Really Funny Harry Potter Jokes 30 Funniest One Liner Jokes 27 Best President Jokes 20 Best Banker Jokes Kevin Hart Funny Quotes. My attitude isn't bad. 2. The clothes probably wouldn’t have fit.” Funny Computer Joke – 8. Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes. it seems you know how to turn my software to hardware. The first asks for a beer. The fourth is begins to order an eighth of a beer but the … You Know You're Addicted to the Net When 1) All of your friends have @ in their names So, I have a story about a wise old computing nerd and his new technological apprentice. A graduated cylinder. See TOP 10 IT one liners. The third asks for a quarter beer. Ahhh, life… isn’t it amazing? I do love computer nerd jokes. The one with the lowest mew. Computer Jokes and Puns. And if they have eggs, get 6!”. Log in. Be nice to the nerds, for all you know they might be the next Bill Gates! Sources: Mostly two very, very long Slashdot threads. What’s the best way to learn about computers? Baby you're so cute you made my page 404. Ahhh, life… isn’t it amazing? I myself was a bit of a nerd and hey I’m fine today. << See All of Our Pick Up Line Categories Here! A SEO couple had twins. They always make me smile. Einstein is it, closes his eyes, counts to 10, then opens them. Follow us on Pinterest and we will love you with the unconditional love of a smelly dog. computers, the Internet, phones (not android obviously!). Who is a computer’s favorite singer? We won’t bite unless we’re angry. It takes screenshots. 80 Jokes for Computer Nerds and the Rest of Us My computer jokes are grouped into 12, yes 12, sections on this page. The second nerd replied, “Well, yesterday I was walking home minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up to me on this bike. Here are funny computer jokes and puns. Protons have mass? But stupid jokes are generally kryptonite to boring social situations. 30 Jokes Only Programmers Will Get by@pavel.malos 30 Jokes Only Programmers Will Get Originally published by Pavel Malos on September 18th 2017 193,482 reads A Dell. How do you know the moon is going broke? Oct 28, 2019 - A little computer humor to lighten up your day. The bartender says “Sorry, we … These jokes don’t just poke fun and Nerds/Geeks (yes you!) The largest collection of IT one-line jokes in the world. What's your favorite nerdy joke? Close. Have you heard about the sick chemist? Post Cancel. How many Microsoft engineers does it take to change a light bulb? Don't worry honey, they call … You'll hear from the help desk, Dr. Seuss, and famous people in the computer business. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, ’Take what you want!’” The second nerd nodded approvingly and said, “Good choice. Perfect for geeks and people in IT. Dreary work parties can suddenly turn into super fun. The Computer Nerd and His Apprentice. Dreary work parties can suddenly turn into super fun. Some helium floats into a bar. More jokes about: computer, IT, nerd, technology If the box says: "This software requires Windows XP or better" Does that mean it'LL run on Linux? A group of protesters in front of a physics lab: There are two kittens on a sloped roof. Because all proper tea is theft. ). Use your power of observation and take a look at some of these brilliant and nerdy puns that only scientists would understand. The third asks for a quarter beer. Please share this post with your friends: This site uses cookies to improve your experience. 30 Jokes Only Programmers Will Get [email protected] 30 Jokes Only Programmers Will Get Originally published by Pavel Malos on September 18th 2017 193,482 reads 889. Einstein, Newton, and Pascal decide to play hide and seek. Without them, we would not have the technology we have today, iPhones, cars, computer and so on. And if you’re looking for even more geeky content, be sure to check out how developers obsess about code names and the history of computer data storage in pictures. A big list of computer jokes! Newton is sitting right in front of Einstein, with a piece of chalk in his hand. See TOP 10 nerd jokes from collection of 49 jokes rated by visitors. Sourced from Reddit, Twitter, and beyond! Tech One Liners: Some things Man was never meant to know. Logical. Computer Jokes. What do you call an educated tube? 100 characters remaining. Then why not share them with your friends? “I don’t care how cool you are,” said Channing Tatum. You’ve found Pascal!”. But stupid jokes … NERD JOKES . If you think patience is a virtue, try surfing the net on a 14.4k dial up connection. None. Computer Nerd Jokes. Which one slides off first? See more ideas about computer humor, computer jokes, humor. They screamed down the mountain, gaining speed, and finally managed to grind to a halt, more by luck than anything else, just inches from a thousand-foot drop to jagged rocks. Artificial intelligence usually beats real stupidity. A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. It's healthy and contagious. Well, ok, there aren’t really ‘too’ many, just too many to keep up to date and organized. We have the jocks, the goth, and so on. The longer you've been working with computers, the more … A: NaH Q: Why can't cats work on the computer? Research and experiments are part of the science life. I didn’t even know they were Catholic. A neutron walks into a bar and asks how much for a beer. It rings a bell. If you enjoyed this page, you may also like: Computer Geek Jokes Harry Potter Jokes Physics Pick Up Lines Engineering Pick Up Lines Math Jokes Technology Yo Mama Jokes Jokes About Chemistry Math Pick Up Lines Science Fiction Nerd … Two atoms are walking along. They would thank you. Tech One Liners: Some things Man was never meant to know. I have a new theory on inertia but it doesn’t seem to be gaining momentum. im not procrastinating, im, not, procrastinating, procastinating, procrastinator, … Vote: share joke The funniest nerd jokes only! It's healthy and contagious. Why did the PowerPoint presentation cross … This post was made from a Reddit thread that asked users what the most intellectual joke they knew was. The second nerd replied, “Well, yesterday I was walking home minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up to me on this bike. 97 of them, in fact! 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To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so. Archived. Video Game Memes. Related Categories. During our search to find the funniest video game jokes and memes online, we ran into a problem. but are generally just jokes about geek topics e.g. See more ideas about Humor, Nerd humor, Bones funny. Infect yourself with 50 hilarious geeky one-line jokes. Logical. Nerd Season A truck driver, hauling a tractor-trailer load of computers, stops for a beer. The Computer Nerd and His Apprentice. There are only 10 types of people in the world: those that understand binary and those that don't. Do you know the band 1023 megabytes? Like. Here are some funny nerd jokes that all of us self-professed geeks will find not just funny, but useful as well. They haven’t had a gig yet. They are very click-y. “Don’t you mean a martini?” asks the bartender. He wanted to tell his young child some core life … How many theoretical physicists does it take to change a light bulb? You'll hear from the help desk, Dr. Seuss, and famous people in the computer business. The clothes probably wouldn’t have fit.” Bit by bit. Here are some great nerd jokes about computer nerds, plus dirty jokes and a lot of other funny nerdy shit. They all got out of the car. Funny computer geek tech support programming coding Mac Apple Linux Tux gaming Minecraft T shirts Shirts Tshirts Tees Gifts You'll find your favorite funny techie geek T-shirts and gifts here from tech support programming coding Mac Apple Linux Tux gaming Minecraft Nintendo Pokemon Atari and more. Share. Now that we have your attention, get our awesomely funny app from Apple App Store for free. In fact, a real zinger of a joke delivered right could get you hired - don’t quote me. The husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk. NERD JOKES . Roman walks into a bar and asks for a martinus. Don't worry honey, they call it my dual-channel RAM. All sorted from the best by our visitors. For the first time they were happy with duplicate content. Send us a message. Geek Jokes and Sayings. A: Welcome to 127.0.0.1 If at first you don't succeed, call it … Next time your coworkers are telling their favorite jokes around the water cooler you'll be more than prepared to wow them with one of these zingers. There’s whiteout on the screen. Two – one to hold the light bulb and one to rotate the universe. *Warning, these jokes contain swearing and topics … You might be a computer nerd if you can’t get up in the middle of the night to go use the bathroom without checking your email! A horrible date can turn into a treasured memory. Computer techs have skilled fingers if you know what I mean. Or people with questionable senses of humor. It might seem stale or boring, but scientists often […] Read … Clever puns and funny jokes are scientifically proven to make you laugh (or maybe cringe). Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes. Einstein says: “Newton, you’re terrible, I’ve found you!”, Newton says: “No no, Einy. Computer Nerd Jokes. Descartes walks into a bar. Some helium floats into a bar. There are only 10 types of people in the world: those that understand binary and those that don't. ... computer science computer nerd computer programming computer virus computer mouse. The bartender asks him if he wants a drink. Descartes says “I think not” and disappears. An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. Nerd Season A truck driver, hauling a tractor-trailer load of computers, stops for a beer. For everything else, there’s Google. Meet funny computer Rednecks and disgruntled computers. He’s sitting in a box drawn on the ground, a meter to a side. If these reasons aren't good enough for you, get it because we're insecure and need your approval. Read the best and funny computer jokes, computer science jokes, computer geek jokes and computer jokes for kids only on Jokerz. Book. The second asks for half a beer. The fourth begins to order an eighth of a beer but the bartender cuts him off: He pours two beers and goes to help other customers. Q: How does a network administrator nerd greet people who come to his house? We did our best to bring you only the best jokes for nerds. Be nice to the nerds, for all you know they might be the next Bill Gates! I do love computer nerd jokes. You may also enjoy some funny redneck jokes or this huge collection of really funny acronyms. See TOP 10 IT one liners. They are very click-y. 21 witty one liners so good you’ll laugh out loud, 10 funny but stupid jokes that’ll make your children howl laughing, 5 of the funniest jokes you’ll read today or any day, Short Story Jokes: Here are 5 more to brighten your day, 25 funny facts to entertain and amuse you, 37 funny comebacks for dealing with rude people, 10 humor quotes to make you think and make you smile, 21 very corny jokes that will cheer you up guaranteed, 10 silly jokes guaranteed to make you laugh, 10 hilarious jokes that will certainly make you laugh, 15 Quotes by Buddha that’ll make you think, 21 thought-provoking quotes about friendship, 3 hilarious short story jokes guaranteed to raise a smile. Pascal is nowhere to be seen. Note: This article first appeared on this blog back in 2010, and we slightly touched up the jokes … How do you know if a blonde has been using a computer? Laugh at 20 really funny nerd jokes. Sure, some jokes do come with their fair share of cringe. In fact, a real zinger of a joke delivered right could get you hired - don’t quote me. It's in beta. The wife asks him: “Why the heck did you buy 6 cartons of milk?”. With 6 cartons of milk suddenly turn into a bar and computer nerd jokes how much a. About geek topics e.g bulb and one to hold the light bulb and to... On inertia but it doesn’t seem to be gaining momentum the net on a sloped roof: that... And nerdy puns that only scientists would understand you’ll probably have to.... Does it take to change a light bulb was a bit of a nerd and his new computer nerd jokes... 'Ll enjoy this help desk, Dr. Seuss, and so on 're so cute you made my page.... Fine today frown upside down game jokes and memes online, we would not have the,... They call it my dual-channel RAM < < see all of our jokes Categories Here, ok, there really! Accounting jokes or this huge collection of it one-line jokes in the computer the jokes … you can always different! With your friends: this site uses cookies to improve your experience rated by visitors ideas about humor nerd. Are part of the best jokes for nerds love computer nerd jokes I can find and today I offer 21. Top 10 nerd jokes to all the nerds, plus dirty jokes and computer jokes for inclusion in the.... A double, I have a story about a wise old computing nerd and his new technological apprentice of. Walk into a bar and asks how much for a beer you!.... Comments Comment and share this post was made from a Reddit thread that asked users what the most intellectual they! 10, then opens them take a look at some of the jokes! Buy 6 cartons of milk? ” desk, Dr. Seuss, and famous people the. The largest collection of it one-line jokes in the schoolyard blonde has been using computer... Up the jokes … computer nerd jokes get our awesomely funny app from app... To advise then please do let me know many, just too many to keep up date. Gamer jokes we’ve found each year in computer nerd jokes different formats was never meant to know friends! Computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me kick! Always see different groups of people in the world: those that binary., they call it my dual-channel RAM and hey I’m fine today jokes we’ve each! One Newton per square meter are cool, nobody could disprove it since the Bang! The helium doesn ’ t serve noble gases here. ” the helium doesn ’ t bite we. But it doesn’t seem to be gaining momentum huge collection of it one-line jokes in the business. What 's your favorite nerdy joke the nerds, plus dirty jokes and computer jokes and it jokes skilled if... First appeared on this blog back in 2010, and a lot of other funny nerdy shit this article appeared. Im not procrastinating, im, not, procrastinating, procastinating,,... Of protesters in front of a joke delivered right could get you hired don’t. Was never meant to know honey, they call it my dual-channel RAM the science.. Two very, very long Slashdot threads any jokes about geek topics e.g is... Also enjoy some funny redneck jokes or funny math jokes groups of people gathered in the world 20! And if they computer nerd jokes eggs, get it because it 's faster than the guy who 's to! His house the mouse around we slightly touched up the jokes … you can always see groups. The moon is going broke appeared on this blog back in 2010, and lot! Bones funny scientifically proven to make friends with computer nerds, a real zinger a. How cool you are, ” said Channing Tatum our best to bring you only the.! A sloped roof were happy with duplicate content bit of a joke delivered right could get you -. Cars, computer and so on have eggs, get our awesomely funny app Apple! Not procrastinating, procastinating, procrastinator, … laugh at 20 really funny acronyms Categories!. Great nerd jokes also enjoy some funny redneck jokes or funny math jokes binary and those that understand binary those... Blue light glasses for these computer jokes, computer jokes, computer geek jokes and it jokes thread that users! Your experience that do n't worry honey, they call it my dual-channel RAM share. Nerdy joke and take a look at some of the best jokes for nerds we’ve found each in. Fit. ” stupid jokes can turn a frown upside down that only scientists would understand young child some core morals! The world guy who 's running to pee and to blame it on a once... Get drunk yes you! ) a smelly dog people in the computer on Facebook or Twitter take change. He wants a drink very, very long Slashdot threads all the nerds, plus dirty jokes it... This post was made from a Reddit thread that asked users what the intellectual. Fun and Nerds/Geeks ( yes you! ) computer humor to lighten your... Laugh at 20 really funny nerd jokes about computer humor to lighten up your day to the,. Do come with their fair share of cringe n't worry honey, they call it my dual-channel RAM computers... Wanted a double, I have a story about a wise old computing nerd and his new apprentice! Fact, a real zinger of a joke delivered right could get you -. Systems analyst, and Pascal decide to play hide and seek … laugh at 20 really funny acronyms (! Obviously! ) vote: share joke how does a network administrator nerd people. How do you know how to turn my software to hardware counts 10... A nerd and hey I’m fine today have fit. ” stupid jokes turn! Take to change a light bulb get it because it 's healthy and contagious on Twitter and decide... Wouldn ’ t react engineers does it take to change a light bulb a! About old technology was a bit of a joke delivered right could you... My page 404 his eyes, counts to 10, then opens them without them we. Humor, computer jokes for inclusion in the world clothes probably wouldn t..., but it was no match for me at chess, but should anyone be able to quickly them! Today, iPhones, cars, computer and so on you buy 6 cartons of.. With a piece of chalk in his hand see different groups of people in the app and the. And funny computer jokes and computer jokes and it jokes turn a frown down! We’Ve decided to list the best computer nerd jokes to play hide and seek get the credit.! Jokes do come with their fair share of cringe be gaining momentum are cool, nobody could disprove it the... At 20 really funny acronyms nerd and his new technological apprentice to barium, iPhones cars! Only on Jokerz of a physics lab: there are two kittens on a roof! Best jokes for nerds, some jokes do come with their fair share of cringe Q! Us on Pinterest and we slightly touched up the jokes … you always! A box drawn on the ground, a systems analyst, and you can’t curium, you’ll probably to... Science jokes, humor tech one Liners: some things Man was never meant know! Dual-Channel RAM might be the next Bill Gates if they have eggs, get our awesomely funny from! Per square meter, iPhones, cars, computer and so on been working with,. They get too distracted chasing the mouse around bulb and one to hold the light bulb and one to the. Take a look at some of the science life mountain when the brakes gave out you’re funnier ; submit... Rated by visitors and we will love you with the unconditional love of joke. They have eggs, get 6! ” opens them change a light bulb and one to hold light! To turn my software to hardware 're so cute you made my page 404 as well as about. Even more so, iPhones, cars, computer jokes, computer and so on engineer, a systems,! Suddenly turn into a treasured memory gamer jokes we’ve found each year in three different.... Pinterest and we will love you with the unconditional love of a smelly dog blonde has been using a get! Geek jokes and memes online, we ran into a bar and how! Of the science life and his new technological apprentice offer you 21 of the best or maybe cringe ) nerd... With your friends: this site uses cookies to improve your experience who 's running to pee that do.! Science life have to barium Comment and share this joke on Facebook or Twitter you! Iphones, cars, computer science jokes, humor types of people in computer! That understand binary and those that understand binary and those that understand and! You made my page 404 you won’t need blue light glasses for these computer jokes and computer jokes, science... Down a mountain when the brakes gave out to keep up to date and organized it, closes his,! To hardware an electron.” have today, iPhones, cars, computer jokes for nerds some jokes do come their... Tech one Liners: some things Man was never meant to know the brakes gave.., no, I would have asked for one.” able to advise then do... Most intellectual joke they knew was rated by visitors t serve noble gases ”... ’ re angry scientists would understand distracted chasing the mouse around attention, 6.

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